In anticipation for… ‘The Renaissance of the Black Hole of Amazingness.’
Hey you lovelies. It looks like I’m heading to Washington D.C. for the summer for an internship with the EPA. If any of y’all are planning on being in the area between June and September, hit me up!
Where are the rest of your photos?
here’s some recent Balderdash goodness…
Jollop
-a dollop of jizz
Schemozzle
-when dad cums on mom’s nose
-a slang term for a 3-legged camel [note: not sure if this one is in the right category]
-Jamaican for : “put a condom on my penis!”, as in “yo yo! Shemozzle me sweet suga’! And I give you da jerk chicken special for $5.95!”
Fatamorgana
-what I called that fat chick in Biology
Barbara Zulu
-A scientist, when science was unpopular. An atheist when religion was mandated by society. A tranny ahead of her time.
-That chick with the veiny vagina
Sunnyside Up
-This dude was totally tittyfucking this girl so hard her tits looked like eggs sunnyside up
-Cloudyside Down
Babes in Baghdad
-An iraqi woman falls in love with an american soldier only to find out that he has a penisvagina
The Misadventures of Mr. Wilt
-Milton Wilt, Private Eye: My two weaknesses, fine scotch and large trannies. I’ll solve the case unless one of the two gets in my way.
-Mr. Wilt snorts meth with his grandmother only to discover that meth is totally awesome and his grandmother is a buzzkill
The Wild Women of Wongo
-when Dorothy set out for IKEA, she didn’t expect savings like this!
Big Meat Eater
-The story of a man made of Salami struggling with obesity issues
-A young boy realizes he is gay after eating a delicious hot dog.
Synopsis: 3 Pizza guys run into trouble at a breakdancing event
-You Got Served…in the MOUTH!; or …Pizza
D.I.A.
-Disturbing Inner Anus
P.P.I.
-Piss Poop Infection
J.C.C.A.
-Jews Crucify Christ Again
-Jason Can’t Come Afterall
-Jason’s Cum Can’t Accelerate
…Illegal to stick…
-a credit card into a buttcrack. SWOOSH!
-an effigy of a flaming cock in any public park, within 200 yards of a school, or nearby piece of public art or statue of a vagina.
In Athens it is illegal to cut…
-Just the tip.
-your initials onto your spouse’s face
In Idaho it is illegal to hunt…
-from a segway, with a double-dong dildo, for a ruby star-fruit
Against the law to…
-conduct research studes on female arousal that describe a pussy being split by more than 2 fingers.
-not have sex with children
In Chicago, it used to be against the law for women over 200 lbs. to…
-use the roadside rainwater grates as toilets
UNKNOWN
- a hypnotizing fat mothafucka orgasm inspires a cat-eating werewolf to compose symphonies for Mrs. Mesmereveng Vca Von Scrotal-Slicer
-dragon-tatted dicks in cave-tatted vags
Hello my dear friends. As some of you might know, a tradition started about 3 years ago where I make Gabby’s birthday cake. I started out with a simple soccer field, and every year it has become more and more elaborate. My one rule: everything on the cake MUST be edible and sweet. I have also made a cake for John Ferrel’s birthday, it’s the one that is a foundation case and brush from the make up company he works for, and most recently I made a breakfast themed cake for Sophie’s 23rd brunch birthday. Here’s a collection of the cakes thus far:
It would be sweet if I can get Gabby’s friends’ parents to hire me every once in a while and I definitely want to make a portfolio so I can volunteer at Charm City Cakes if I end up going to grad school in Baltimore! ha ha, kind of kidding, kind of not…
Aside from my days of cake decorating, I am currently enjoying the amazing weather in SF. Seriously, laid out and read the NYTimes in a park on Sunday, it’s ridiculous. I really want to make my way up to Seattle, but we’ll see. At the moment I am saving every last penny to get up and travel/move to East Africa this late spring. I am trying to get a position with the Clinton Foundation, but that train is moving very slow, so I might just set out on my own and see where I land. If I don’t make it up this spring, E (my close friend from growing up who many of you have met) and I are planning on moving to Seattle in 2010- we actually reference it quite a bit and simply call it “Seattle 2010.” We are currently in the process of recruiting others- might have already gotten Ang and my friend Katrina onboard.
Happy Inauguration!
Kath
Alright, let’s get planning this Seattle shidig. First off, dates. Then peer pressure. Then plane tickets. Then smooshy hugs. I’m including May because Sd and I mentioned it in passing (if we’re thinking April, we’ve missed the b-days by a boatload anyway, we might as well look at the better weather come May).
1: How long? Seattlites, how long can you stand us on your couches? Visitors, how long can you take off work? Are we talking a week? Long weekend?
2: Dates. I’m listing these by weekends for now.
March
7-8 (Weekend closest to Annie’s birthversary. And Andi’s and Emy’s, for that matter.)
14-15
21-22 (March 16-22 discouraged by Andi)
28-29
April
4-5
11-12 (Easter. Pro: I get Good Friday off, does anyone else? Con: Family conflicts.)
18-19
25-26
May
2-3
9-10
16-17 (Syttende Mai. I will. But I’d rather not.)
23-24
30-31-1 (Memorial Day. Hmmm.)
Discuss.
Jacko’s Father’s Day/Birthday/Christmas present:
Jason, I don’t know how to make it a thumbnail. Sorry.
Also, to those coming to visit, what is the latest on your arrival date? My only request right now is that it not be in the March 16th to 22nd range, because I will not be able to get any time off from work that week or weekend. Actually I do have more than one request, and the second is that you stay forever and ever.
Happy Birthday Week Chicagoans…I mean ChicaGO-NADS.
Love,
Andi
To those of you who weren’t able to cuddle/drink/overeat with us over the holidays, I present The Christmas Card Photos (in thumbnail form, for Jason), as requested/arranged by Christine, taken at the Barber residence in Appleton, WI. Please note Andi’s completely awesome portrait on the hearth.
Christian and Andi went for the prom pose, with a phallic dog toy standing in for Andi’s bouquet. Oskar was immediately jealous.
Jason and I are engaged! Jason fears commitment.
This is Nick’s debut on the blog! He wanted to make a good impression, so he enlisted a confidence-instilling finger gun and a little height boost. Annie sacrificed her posture for his cause.
Emy and Andrew have become ICE DANCERS! Seconds after this effortless-looking hold, she threw him into a triple, which he landed beautifully.
Y didn’t have any instructions from Christine, or a date. Luckily, she found two worthy companions.
Happy New Year, friends.
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